The Art Of Getting Everything You Don't Want.

I haven't updated in a while, I haven't been busy, just neglectful. So here is my blog post about getting everything you DON'T want and the way I went about it.

1. Short-term friendships

There is absolutely no point in forming short-term friendships in my opinion. Everyone I made friends with in school is still my friend. That could be because I don't trust people easily or generally because I don't in fact, like people much at all. So how do you get short-term friends you wonder? Well, it's easy. You can do this by joining a group and creating a 'friendship' based on some ridiculous lie or mutual interest in a band you have actually never heard of. These methods tend to work throughout high school and University and can last from about 8-12 weeks. That's enough time to be seen having a friend before you can move on to the next victim. Remember, if you're going to form a friendship based on lies, be outlandish and inventive! I've had some of the worst ones thrown at me (though I didn't know it at the time) and although I think those people are now complete jerks, at least they were creative. Kudos to them. 

2. Have people think you're a pushover (and then becoming one)

This would be difficult for the more charismatic people amongst us, but not for me. I'm naturally shy and quiet around strangers, definitely introverted and for some reason that leads people to believe you will do whatever they say. For me this only extended to some of my friends and my elder sister. My sister has a way of making you feel guilty (more on that later) for not doing what she wants and she's very good at this particular act of manipulation. Most of my teenage years were spent bailing my sister out of trouble with my parents or even strangers sometimes. This is probably why I was so outwardly defensive to other people outside of my friends and family group, like my teachers or my peers. So if you want to actually be a pushover, just do whatever you're told and keep telling yourself it's for the best. That can last up to 5 years if you do it well. 

3. Being thin and depressed

I have a wealth of knowledge on this particular topic. To be thin and depressed all you have to do is have absolutely no self-esteem and to be told you're worthless countless times, then you'll start believing it. You will do whatever it takes to prove people otherwise and that is a great motivation for starving yourself, until you can't ever look at soup the same way again. I haven't been able to go near soup in years. This starvation will also increase depression or create it, if you're not already there. There are some repercussions though, starving also leads to isolating yourself from the outside world, not being able to go out socially with friends and having no life outside of food. Also, hospital visits are common. This starved way of life can last for a while, until you run out of energy or life to keep going. The psychological effects and depression can last a life time. 

4. Having an unhealthy amount of guilt

Back to guilt. If you were raised Catholic, you already have an inbuilt sense of guilt for everything you have ever done. If not, you just need to be blamed for everything that goes wrong in your parent's lives. After a while guilt becomes second nature, it motivates you not to do certain things, or more likely, to do everything people ask you to do if they complain enough. This isn't like being a pushover, this is just staying alive to serve other people's emotional manipulations. Guilt lasts a lifetime. 

5. Being lonely.

Being lonely is not the same as being alone. If you are skilled at feeling lonely, you could be at a party or anywhere surrounded by people and you will feel completely lonely. It's like being detached from everything going on around you, you really need to work at it. The ways in which I came to be lonely, fairly frequently, was by mainly living in my head. I tend to overanalyse things until I think I am legitimately insane, replaying conversations and memories over and over again. You also find yourself increasingly lonely if you have nothing to say to other people. I don't see the point in making small talk, so if I have nothing to say, I say nothing at all. Cut out the small talk and avoid people, that's a sure way to feel lonely.

So those are my top five tips at getting everything out of life that you don't really want, but you may end up doing. Regret is probably number six.