Prescription Pills: The Making of Wonderful Disasters.

"I'm a wonderful disaster. So are you. We're all a mess. We're in this culture that says take this pill and you'll be happy, go on this diet and you'll be thinner, have your teeth whitened, people will love you more." 
This is society in a nutshell. 

I want to correct something for you or better yet, provide you with some new insights I've just recently realised. To mention a post of mine from way back, when I was discussing drugs and the possibility that they're not all that bad, I have something new to add to that discussion. I still believe we can't really judge people who choose to use drugs and I still think they have had some positive impacts, however I'm starting to think that the point of me writing that post was to validate my own actions. I don't consider myself a drug-taker (most of them don't) but I can't deny the fact I've abused them. Prescriptions pills most definitely and very rarely, alcohol too.

Prescription pill "popping" is probably a lot more common than most people think. I consider those warnings more of a guideline anyway, people assume they know how much they can handle (myself included). It just so happens that in my case I can take quite a hit from many different types of pills e.g. valium, xanax, panadeine forte etc. They're all prescription only, but these days doctors seem more than happy to give them out to you (a big part of the problem), it's only the pharmacist that's a bit iffy. So unlike alcohol, I can handle these sorts of drugs. I've used and abused them at times, always at dark times and I never achieve anything apart from grogginess, pain and confusion. When I was thinking about this last night it did strike me that I was a lot more like my mother than I had previously thought. I know there is a lot of talk about addictions being linked to your genetics and I do believe that, but maybe when I was judging my mother (well, considering more like) I was ignoring my own abuses of drugs. I think maybe I do actually belong to that group of drug-takers I was discussing, maybe that's what bugs me so much when people want to criticise something they can't understand. I can understand these sorts of addictions because a) well acquainted with so many people with addiction problems and b) on occasion I happen to belong to that group that is so criticised by our "society." (Note: Society sucks)

With that realisation, I can't say I will actually change anything about my "problem." It's more recreational than a habit (true story), it's more for pain than for needing the pills to survive and it's usually to aid the process of dying. Considering all those attempts have failed, maybe I'm just not very good at drug-taking or my body just keeps outsmarting my mind (not a hard task). Regardless of why I choose to take prescription drugs, I would really hate to see what my internal organs look like now, let's put it that way.

In regards to suicide and prescription pills though, people always seem to believe that overdosing is a much more womanly way to die. There is less mess, less pain (so they think) and it's quick (sometimes). People are idiots and most certainly wrong about those assumptions and I can't for the life of me understand where they got their information from (if they have ANY), but I have heard this sort of rubbish time and time again. Apparently shooting yourself or something more violent is a "manly" way to die. Bullshit.  I'm not even going to bother correcting them because it's just ridiculous, but I would say to people who criticise the way someone chooses to die that maybe they should focus on why someone would want to die in the first place. It doesn't matter how someone dies, isn't the loss of a life itself more important? How is just the details, why is what is more important. Then again, some people really get a kick out of being cold-hearted and mean-spirited and I've never really liked those sorts of individuals anyway.

There was really no point to this post really, I just wanted to correct some of my previous statements. I left out prescription drugs altogether in my last drugs post because it's a touchy subject for me, it's still quite raw in fact because it's very close to me. Illicit drugs, alcohol abuse, all of those drug addictions are close as well, but they're not me, I don't do those sorts of things (not willingly anyway, I have been spiked), so it is a lot easier to be objective (somewhat) about those habits. I'm correcting my previous errors now because it just seemed like the right time to do it and I have to say, I do wish doctors would stop being so giving with all the drugs. I really don't like doctors. Maybe at some point it was about curing people and helping them, now it seems to be acceptable to load them up with goodies. I'm not blaming them (whoever they are, loads of people probably), individuals ultimately choose whether or not they're going to abuse them but less access would be handy. I just don't know, what do other people think?

I do seriously believe people need to be more aware of seemingly harmless drugs like those prescribed to you as being addictive as well, instead of just assuming that if a doctor prescribes it, it must be good for you. A load of good it has done for me. They have never helped me, they have only ever aided my own destruction. I could probably blame our social atmosphere for that, because that's the flaw with our society isn't it? Everything good just decays. We'll do whatever we're told, we'll take whatever we're given and we ultimately abuse and twist all those "good" things until we are these "wonderful disasters." We're all a mess really.

Drugs: A not so popular idea, but why?

I know this is not a very popular idea. You don't hear it too often any more … but it's the truth. I have taken drugs before and … I had a real good time. Sorry. Didn't murder anybody, didn't rape anybody, didn't rob anybody, didn't beat anybody, didn't lose – hmm –one fucking job, laughed my ass off, and went about my day. Sorry. Now, where's my commercial? - Bill Hicks.




I thought I would open with a quote by one of the greatest comedians whoever lived, since not only is it quite an honest idea, it also leads nicely into the topic of this blog. Drugs.


Now I am going to make this crystal clear for people reading this, when I mention 'drugs' I am talking about all drugs. I'm not limiting myself to the common misconception that drugs means illicit drugs, I'm including alcohol and tobacco as well, unless I suggest otherwise. 


Every child in school is taught the same thing; drugs ruin lives, destroy families and even cause financial problems (that may have just been my school, totally elitist). I bought into this completely. From my own perspective, having been very exposed to drugs all my life, I knew first hand the problems associated with them.  Other girls at my school believed this too, but not out of experience or any proper knowledge on the subject, they were convinced like desperate people watching some advertisement for a new diet regime. Completely ignorant, but so willing to accept what was being served to them.


I think I carried this idea around with me until my mid teens. I had spent so much of my life hating drugs, hating what it had done to my family and believing deep in my heart, that without drugs in the equation, everything in my life would have been so much better. I got older though, and when you get older you become more aware of things and hopefully, you learn to expand your mind to question other possibilities before you dismiss them. I remember thinking one night that perhaps it wasn't actually the drugs I hated so much, perhaps it could be the people I blamed, the drug takers as individuals. Perhaps it was what they did after, or even before consuming something, that was what I truly hated. 


It is such much easier to blame something, rather than someone. I don't think any compassionate person on this Earth would want to blame their mother or father for genuinely being a lousy parent and having to admit and accept that, when they could blame what they perceive to be the source of their parent's lousiness. I can understand that, but believing that is just lying to yourself.


How could I honestly hate drugs when I come home after a bad day and listen to what they have inspired? Much of the music I love is the child of people out of their minds on all types of substances, creating beautiful and incredible sounds that have not been recreated since and have lasted the test of time. You listen to some of Paul McCartney's work, who admitted he was pretty much off his face, and try and tell me that drugs are all bad and cause chaos. Tell me that they they're so terrible after reading works by Hemingway, Poe, Burroughs or Huxley. Even if all their lives were tragic or ended far too quickly (that would be the destructive part), they created masterpieces and were all inspired by some substance. 


The truth is, and Hicks said it a lot more concisely than I have, is that most people who take drugs are not raving lunatics or problem causers. Recreational users are common, I know quite a few and they are all just average people, just going about their lives and occasionally dabbling with substances to have a good time. Who am I to judge them for what they do? I have absolutely no right to do that, unless their actions cause harm or hurt me in some way. I have often found that it is people who have been drinking that are truly the worst drug users (remember, alcohol is a drug people), changing from being friendly, into aggressive and dangerous individuals. That could be said for all drugs though, apart from tobacco. You try and take cigarettes away from a smoker and see how quick their mood changes. Give them back the cigarettes!


I should end this now before I start ranting about the problems associated with smoking nowadays. Honestly, the anti-smoking laws in this country are actually bordering on breaking some of my human rights. I do still have rights as a smoker don't I? I mean, I pay my taxes, actually no, I pay more taxes than a non-smoker because my Government feels like it, even though they apparently don't want me to be able to smoke anywhere. I didn't realise they owned Sydney's airspace now, that it was a crime from me to smoke outdoors. Aren't I just so ignorant?


The sum of all my musings on drugs is just this; don't judge people who take drugs or just try them, unless it personally affects you and don't limit yourself to straight-laced (very Victorian) ways of thinking. There is always much more to consider than what you may be told or taught in school. Just by broadening your mind to even consider other possibilities is an achievement, even if you decide to dismiss those thoughts anyway.